Parent Child Relationships

[Updated 9/16]
  I am one of those teenagers that my parents are for all intensive purposes, my best friends. I have heard throughout life that kids "hate" their parents. Lately i have had the opportunity to see multiple sides of the common child remark of "my parents ruin my life."

   someone i know is often depressed when they are at home. what they tell me is that their parents don't leave them alone or are treating them unfairly. i have met this persons parents and know that to me, they are very nice. I did not pass off this persons claims couldn't figure out  what the truth was.
   I got to know this person better, and would often video chat with them. I noticed this persons parents would often barge in and begin acting unhappy or disappointed with something this child had done. Me hearing these instances and hearing this persons stories made me think their parents weren't being fair.
   I went to talk to Dr. Schlegelmilch and turns out he knows this persons parents well. He says their doing everything right. As i continued thinking about this with my new perspective, I realized he was right.

   A very apparent trait with kids on the spectrum, is this misunderstanding of social cues as well as taking everything as the truth [literally]. i know this is one of my most disabling challenges that i fight everyday. i have often found it difficult to be "best buds" because i couldn't tell when someone was lying to me. its not so much that i minded it happening, because it doesn't effect me, but i minded finding out later that i should not have trusted them. i believe experiences like this and the ability to go through them in a safe environment like Orion, has been very useful and i [cliche] wouldn't have traded it for the world.
   so this post was somewhat of a jumble of many thoughts. i had just gone through this experience that took some reflecting so i thought why not do it here. hope you like.

No Touching Rule

as you may have read from Dr. Schlegelmilch's blog, our blogs will sometimes overlap. this is one of those times.
in social skills we were talking about Aspergers, and the strengths and weaknesses associated. One that i thought could use a contrasting view was the no touching rule. In this blog entry i do not wish to change or take away the rule, just show the psychologists why i appreciate them being more lenient when needed.
Ever since i can remember i have loved having physical contact with other human beings. My mom used to tell my teachers that if they were going to touch me, they needed to do so firmly. I do not have the same receptors for touch as many people. I feel less and need a firmer grip. When my teachers would talk to me they would often grab and squeeze my arms while doing so. My mom would say i needed this many times a day, and my teachers reported they saw a huge change in mood when they used this technique. As i've been growing up it has been less appropriate for teachers or anyone to firmly grab me in the way that calms me down.
The school rule is there for kids who overload from touch and those who feel left out of a friend group. I have found that for me, hugging several times a day, with the people who know why i need it, can turn one of my gloomy days, a little better. I often have depressed days and i find if my friends aren't there to hug me, it goes a lot worse then if they are able to give me a good squeeze before class.
I can understand why this behavior can make others feel upset, and it is because they think its because my friends and i are so close. Thats part of it, they do it because it makes our lives better and we're the only ones we trust enough to feel safe in that situation. Anyone who needs a hug i am always open to help because i truly understand, but i only trust my needs with a select few. This is how i manage my mood and overall well being.
I thought this might be an interesting take on how the rule takes away from some while it helps others. I think it has greatly helped, that the teachers and psychologists support this need. Whether they realize it or not. Just by accidentally looking the other way, i have had a longer period of no depression, and when i am depressed, i know it doesn't last as long as it used to.
i know this entry was kind of "all about Hannah" but i think its a good example of the point of this blog. there are two sides to every rule or decision and this is the one it seems, maybe wasn't taken into account when creating the "no touching" rule.

Will be Posting Soon

hey im sick so i should be posting later this week. :)

The Water Bottle Rule

while i was waiting to start class today, i saw a new student drinking from the water cooler with his hands. i looked at him the way i do and he seemed to get my point. there's a kind of unstated rule, a social norm, that it is inappropriate to drink from the water cooler with your hands. later today i saw him doing it again. i looked at him and he gave a interesting reason for his behavior. i think he knew it wasn't appropriate to be doing this but his "water bottle had broken" and to me that seemed like a good excuse. what are we supposed to do when we don't have a water bottle. if we don't have it for a good reason such as it breaking, does the school still enforce the rule of not giving children cups? i told him to go to the office and tell them what happened, and to ask for a cup.
i thought this was important to bring up because i have often found myself in the situation of wondering how far a rule would go.
i would like to give this kid props because he did a number of things i couldn't have done at his age,
he recognized the non verbal cues i was sending out
he answered a question that was there but unasked thanks
he respected my opinion that there are other ways to do things and didn't argue that his way was okay.
comments, feedback

How Life in Public School, or the lack there of, effects Orion Students.

Orion is a place designed to eliminate negative opinions and create a "safe" environment for kids to be themselves.
the idea is good but it needs some work. i have found everyone judges everyone. whether they realize this is happening or they just do it without thinking is unclear. what i have found is that often, kids with little social skills tend to come across snotty when they really just have differing opinions. this isn't true for everyone, but for some it is made more apparent to others then the individual is aware of.
i was with my friend today when another student walked up and started talking. i wouldn't let them talk because they were interrupting. i told them we would talk to them but after we had finished our conversation. so my friend and i finished our talk and i said "hey you should go talk to him now". she said "you were the one who said that... i wasn't actually going to talk to him". i thought this sounded rude but i think she was just managing her own emotions the best way she knew how. i went to talk to the other student and resolved what was going on. i answered his simple question and moved on.
i think what some people don't understand is that if you don't let someone talk and then don't come back to hear what they had to say, their not likely to stop interrupting. i find that even when you dont want to talk to someone, its the right thing to do. it goes back to that age old rule to treat others how you would want to be treated. Ive been on the other side of this, having someone not want to talk to you and feeling the pain in your stomach, i think this girl has been going to private school long enough she has forgotten how terrible that feels. i remember the last time that happened to me and i would not wish that stress on anyone. why tell someone something like "go away i don't like you" instead of "im not in a good mood ill talk to you later". it gets the same thing across but it doesn't cause the other any stress, they just go about their business and often they don't need to talk later. in my opinion, if in one moment it is possible, not choice but tollerable to be nice to someone, why dont you do it.
my friend had nothing to do in that two minutes it took to talk to this boy and answer his question but she decided to not risk her mood by talking to someone who stressed her out. i respect that and ive felt like that too.
i find empathy is a hard thing to come across at Orion. i have trouble with it too. its an interesting thing to watch, it makes apparent how different people are.
any comments and opinions are appreciated.
:)

Hello World... sorry for the cliche :/

hey so for those of you reading this thanks, ill give you an idea of what I'm writing about. i go to a school for kids with different learning styles. some kids have social skills challenges and some just have trouble paying attention. i decided to write a blog because i have had interesting experiences, there have been social situations that i feel come up regularly and i thought it might be nice to catalog and give a different perspective.
one of our school psychologists has a blog and he reports on the kids and the learning that takes place. i have found our views sometimes clash. i believe having a student point of view might be nice.
i am going to try and update at least once a week or whenever something comes up worth elaborating on.

thanks for reading and look up, i have a update from today :)