i have come to wonder in the last couple of days, if it is healthy to have a different way of dealing with friendships with different people. i realize that sounds off so ill try to explain.
when i am with my large group of friends i know that if i'm rude to them they will not take it personally and often poke fun, however with a separate friend i must constantly monitor my behaviors so as to not set them off. i find i am a completely different friend.
the average Hannah is a yell first then apologize if need be while the hannah i am with my singular friend is polite and giving. personally i would never think of myself that way, but it has become necessary.
i feel the friendship is important but i find myself wondering if its worth giving up the essence of me.
all in all i think this friend and i have a lot to learn and for now i just like being there for them and having them there.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Im sorry
it has come to my attention i might not be saying things in my blog in the nicest way. i welcome feedback and if anyone disagrees or has suggestions for future posts, please send me a message here or on facebook http://www.facebook.com/nannerz.fox.
i hope no one is too upset and i will remove blog posts if they are upsetting :)
i hope no one is too upset and i will remove blog posts if they are upsetting :)
Be Nice - It Works Better
Okay so I know its been a while but I have had a lot going on. this post will be focusing on what I have discovered this year.
I don't know how many people have been in a situation like this; someone you know is being annoying and you want to deal with it so you use a harsh tone to tell them or send queues for them to stop. while this might seem like an effective tactic, depending on the person it could ignite the one who is bothering you. This then causes a domino effect of making the annoying student upset and unstable, this in turn makes everyone around them on edge because when one person in a community is upset it effects everyone.
During this year I have discovered the fix to this problem. Its as simple as the age old rule to treat others the way you want to be treated. It seems like its such a simple rule that it couldn't do anything, but I find being nice is the quickest way to a resolution.
Whenever at school I make sure, no matter what mood I'm in, that I am always kind and I always put others first. If i cant do that then I politely say I'm not in the mood. Through this practice, more people trust me and see me as a safe person to talk to.
I have been practicing the technique in various settings whether it be settling a student down when someone has spoken harshly or if I am just talking to students that need a nicer tone.
The way my little brother looks at this is that he acts out more when teachers are rough with him, when a teacher is "soft" and works with his strengths he gets more accomplished. We are lucky that at this school we have so many of the "soft" teachers but when one a student is upset, it has worked so well to care about them and show them that people are on their side and understand. I see myself in so many of the kids and I have found the by making them feel better I make myself feel good and I become a nicer person as a result.
I also would like to say that I have done a fair share of this and for me its a very very recent discovery. I am posting this because i want to share this amazing thing i found out. hope you liked it. I tried to relate it to social skills but I don't know if I did. its been a while.
I will try to post again soon :)
sorry i edited this so much. i don't want to hurt anyones feelings. I'm sorry if it seems convoluted or sloppy.
I don't know how many people have been in a situation like this; someone you know is being annoying and you want to deal with it so you use a harsh tone to tell them or send queues for them to stop. while this might seem like an effective tactic, depending on the person it could ignite the one who is bothering you. This then causes a domino effect of making the annoying student upset and unstable, this in turn makes everyone around them on edge because when one person in a community is upset it effects everyone.
During this year I have discovered the fix to this problem. Its as simple as the age old rule to treat others the way you want to be treated. It seems like its such a simple rule that it couldn't do anything, but I find being nice is the quickest way to a resolution.
Whenever at school I make sure, no matter what mood I'm in, that I am always kind and I always put others first. If i cant do that then I politely say I'm not in the mood. Through this practice, more people trust me and see me as a safe person to talk to.
I have been practicing the technique in various settings whether it be settling a student down when someone has spoken harshly or if I am just talking to students that need a nicer tone.
The way my little brother looks at this is that he acts out more when teachers are rough with him, when a teacher is "soft" and works with his strengths he gets more accomplished. We are lucky that at this school we have so many of the "soft" teachers but when one a student is upset, it has worked so well to care about them and show them that people are on their side and understand. I see myself in so many of the kids and I have found the by making them feel better I make myself feel good and I become a nicer person as a result.
I also would like to say that I have done a fair share of this and for me its a very very recent discovery. I am posting this because i want to share this amazing thing i found out. hope you liked it. I tried to relate it to social skills but I don't know if I did. its been a while.
I will try to post again soon :)
sorry i edited this so much. i don't want to hurt anyones feelings. I'm sorry if it seems convoluted or sloppy.
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